Los Angeles Versus Salt Lake City

This article has some inside jokes you might understand and enjoy if you've lived in either place.

In LA, if you momentarily leave your table in a fast food restaurant a derelict will take your food, In Salt Lake a guy named Derek will steal your newspaper.

In LA, if you attend a party you will be asked to save the whales and dolphins. In Salt Lake you will be asked to save the plastic spoons and forks.

In LA, it's The Biz, in Utah it's The Church.

LA is a celebration of diversity, Utah is a celebration of conformity.

In LA you will see a guy smiling because he's driving his beautiful car, In Salt Lake you'll see a guy smiling because it's a beautiful day.

In LA you have events and promotions, In Salt Lake you have activities and meetings.

In LA strange people stare at you. In Salt Lake people stare at strangers.

In LA if you want to get above the smog you have to go to Lancaster. In Salt Lake if you want to get above the smog you have to go to Park City.

In LA, local TV spots feature the obnoxious Owner and his girlfriend, in Salt Lake local TV spots feature the Owner and his obnoxious kids.

In LA, the manager of the neighborhood 7-11 is studying English as a second language. In Salt Lake the manager of the 7-11 is completing his Ph.D. in English.

In LA, all the "Ropers" live in "The Valley" (San Fernando Valley). In Salt Lake all the "Cowboys" live in "West Valley City."

In LA it's AIDS, In Salt Lake it's cancer.

In LA, all challenges can be met with a ton of money and a good lawyer. In Salt Lake all challenges can be met with a ton of enthusiasm and a good attitude.

In LA you hire a gardener, housekeeper, nanny and tennis instructor. In Utah you don't have to pay people to live your life for you.


Steve Biggs
05/22/1998