Steve's Covid Mask Guidelines
Contain your sneeze by sneezing into the inside of a bent elbow. Always ask for permission when sneezing into the elbow of a stranger.
You don't need to wear a mask in the outdoors unless you are being attacked by a mountain lion or bobcat.
Fathers you must wear one mask for each of your children who refuse to wear one.
You may wear a mask until it begins to stink. If your mask suddenly stops smelling bad you have covid.
Remember this “Rule of Bum,” if you can kick the ass of the person in front of you, you are standing too close.
Most masks can be sanitized. 451 degrees Fahrenheit for ten minutes should do it just fine.
A true gentleman will tip his hat, open the door for the ladies and share his mask with strangers.
I've been told that a mask is only 95% effective. This is why I wear a mask that is 105% larger than normal.
Hydrocarbons are the natural enemy of covids. Still, it is not advised to gargle with gasoline.
If, by wearing a mask, none of your friends or family recognize you, you might consider holding up a train.
You should have received all your anti-viral training in elementary school. If not, please ask a sixth-grader to mentor you about fleas and cooties.
Remarkably the Taliban had it right all along. Very few Afghani women have caught the virus. Now if they could only cure that vitamin D deficiency.
The covid era has introduced us to the three piece bikini.
Doctors have advised us to watch for a second wave of mutants. Obviously they have never read a comic book.
Steve Biggs 1-10-21
I am the sole author of this article. Similarity to other material is purely coincidental. You may sue me if you wish, but I have no job and no money.